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Forgiveness in the Bible: The REAL Cost of Holding a Grudge

Forgiveness in the Bible: The REAL Cost of Holding a Grudge

Somebody did you dirty. Or they will. As sure as the sun sets tonight, at some point you’ll feel uniquely wronged. So then what? Hold a grudge? You wouldn’t be the first. Studies show nearly 78% of people are hanging on to some kind of grudge—basically doing themselves dirty. But the Bible says there’s another way.
PS: Stick around to the end of this article and we’ll show you some dope hip hop songs that focus on the theme of forgiveness.

The Heavy Cost of Holding On

Everybody knows what it’s like to hold on too long.

You keep running that argument back in your head like it’s on repeat. You replay every word, every side-eye, every moment. Before you know it, you’re carrying it like a backpack full of bricks.

I’ve done it too. Some grudges lived in me so long, I forgot what even started them. But the weight? Still there.

And the Bible calls it out. The bible says in Romans 6:23, letting sin and bitterness run the show only leads to death. And in Ephesians 4:31–32, Paul keeps it raw: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… be kind and compassionate… forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

For real, grudges don’t just mess with your head—they mess with your life.

My patience with people got short…

Stress had me grinding my teeth…

Even waking up felt heavy…

And maybe you’ve felt that too, like anger leaking into every corner of your day.

Science even backs this up. Resentment spikes your blood pressure, steals your sleep, and fuels anxiety. But here’s the flip: Bible verses about forgiveness show it’s not weakness. It’s freedom! The kind that only Jesus Christ can give when you finally let Him untangle the mess in your heart.

I eventually realized how these grudges were a drag on my life. So I asked the Holy Spirit to help me let them go. Not because the people who wronged me deserved to move on. But because I deserved to.

The Real Cost of Holding a Grudge: Forgiveness in The Bible

It’s Called Forgiveness

“Forgiveness.” It’s one of those words that sounds simple until you actually have to do it!

The Bible makes it clear—forgiveness isn’t optional. It’s both a command and a gift. We forgive because God forgave us first. But let’s be real. Most days, forgiveness does not feel natural.

That’s why it can’t just be about vibes or emotions. Forgiveness in the Bible verses we read is about choice.

Check Colossians 3:13:

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” 

That’s not some casual suggestion. That’s a bold call to action. Paul is saying, “Don’t wait until you feel like it. Decide.”

Why? Because Jesus Christ already showed us what real forgiveness looks like. Because God’s grace to you didn’t cost you anything! And as soon as you said “I repent”, you were free!

1 John 1:9 Puts It This Way

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

And it’s not just spiritual—it’s practical. In Mark 11:25, Jesus connects forgiveness to prayer. He’s saying, if you’re holding something against somebody, forgive them before you even finish your prayer.

Here’s the bottom line: forgiving is choosing freedom. It’s saying, “Bitterness doesn’t get to write my story.” It’s leaning on the Holy Spirit to do what feels impossible. And when you step into that? You step into the riches of His grace—where peace beats pain and freedom breaks every chain.

What Are Three Things Jesus Said About Forgiveness?

If you want to know how serious God is about forgiveness, just look at what Jesus actually said. Over and over in the Bible, He made forgiveness a central part of His teaching! Not an optional extra for the spiritually elite, but a daily practice for everyone who follows Him.

  1. Forgive without limits. In Matthew 18:21–22, Peter asked Jesus if forgiving someone seven times was enough. Like “How many times do I gotta do this?!” Jesus flipped the script: “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” He wasn’t giving us a number to keep track of; He was showing us that forgiveness should have no limit. If God’s mercy is endless, ours should mirror that.
  2. Forgive to be forgiven. In Matthew 6:14–15, right after teaching the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus said, “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Forgiveness isn’t just about keeping peace with people—it’s about aligning ourselves with the flow of God’s forgiveness.
  3. Forgive while praying. In Mark 11:25, Jesus taught that when we pray, if we hold anything against anyone, we should forgive them so that our Father in heaven will forgive us.

What’s striking is that Jesus tied forgiveness directly to our relationship with God. The Holy Spirit empowers us to live out what Jesus taught, but it starts with remembering His words: no limits, no delays, no excuses.

What Are the 7 Steps of Forgiveness (Bible Verses and Biblical Perspective)?

Forgiveness sounds nice when it’s on a bumper sticker. Living it out? That’s a whole different story.

If you’ve ever tried to forgive somebody who cut you deep, you already know, it’s not a one-and-done thing. The Bible says forgiveness is central to following Jesus, but how do you actually get there?

Let’s break it down into seven steps that make it real.

  1. Recognize the hurt. You can’t forgive what you refuse to name. Even Jesus acknowledged His pain on the cross before saying, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34).
  2. Remember God’s forgiveness of you. Romans 5:8 reminds us that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Forgiveness starts by receiving God’s forgiveness.
  3. Choose forgiveness, even before you feel it. Ephesians 4:31–32 tells us to get rid of bitterness and forgive as God forgave us. It’s a choice, not a feeling.
  4. Pray for strength through the Holy Spirit. Left to ourselves, we’d rather cling to anger. The Holy Spirit empowers us to release it.
  5. Release bitterness. Colossians 3:13 commands us to forgive grievances. Releasing bitterness means refusing to let transgressions define your story.
  6. Replace anger with compassion. This doesn’t excuse sin but mirrors Christ’s heart. Forgiveness changes us first.
  7. Walk in freedom. When you forgive, you step into the riches of His grace. Forgiveness allows peace, healing, and even joy to take root.

Forgiveness is a journey, but it’s one Jesus walks with us every step of the way.

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What Is True Forgiveness According to the Bible?

Let’s keep it real—when somebody does you dirty, the last thing you wanna do is forgive. Our natural reaction? Cut ’em off, clap back, or let that grudge live rent-free in your head. But the Bible paints a different picture of what forgiveness really is.

First… true forgiveness isn’t pretending nothing happened. It doesn’t mean you act like the pain wasn’t real. Jesus never called us to fake it.

Second… true forgiveness isn’t the same as blind trust. If somebody breaks your heart or crosses your line, forgiveness doesn’t mean you throw the door wide open again. Boundaries are still holy.

So what is it? True forgiveness is canceling the debt. It’s looking at the hurt, the offense, the betrayal, and saying, “Because of Jesus Christ, you don’t owe me anymore.” That’s heavy—but that’s exactly what God did for us. Romans 5:8 says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s God’s forgiveness in action.

When we forgive, we’re not letting someone off the hook, but we’re putting them in God’s hands! The Holy Spirit helps us drop the weight we were never meant to carry!

The Untold Science Behind Forgiveness

Moving on isn’t really about the other person at all. It’s about your health, your freedom, your joy. Doctors say forgiveness lowers stress, strengthens your immune system, and even eases anxiety and depression. Psalm 103 reminds us that God “forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.” Forgiveness heals body and soul.

When you refuse to forgive, you deny yourself freedom. You’re letting the unforgiven control your story. When you forgive, you step into the riches of His grace, claiming the life Jesus already purchased for you.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13

Stepping Into Freedom

Here’s what it comes down to… forgiveness of sins is the whole reason we even got a shot at new life.

Ephesians 1:7 lays it out:

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”

That’s not just church talk—that’s freedom. And once you’ve tasted that grace, you can’t keep holding grudges like they’re trophies.

Jesus told the story of the Prodigal Son, where the father didn’t sit back with his arms crossed—he ran to embrace the son who messed up big. That’s the same way God meets us. But Jesus also told the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18—a warning for anybody who wants to enjoy God’s mercy but still chains other people to their past hurts.

You can’t live free and keep others locked up at the same time.

Paul even wrote in 2 Corinthians 2:5–11 that forgiveness is about restoring people so they don’t drown in sorrow.

So what’s the move?

  1. Crack open your Bible, maybe even jump into a Bible study on forgiveness.
  2. Let God show you what it looks like to walk in His grace.
  3. Drop the weight, trust the Holy Spirit, and step into the life He designed for you.

Bitterness doesn’t get to write your story. Jesus does.

Christian Hip Hop Songs About Forgiveness

Feeling heavy? The awesome thing about God is He doesn’t leave us stuck there. Christian hip hop is packed with tracks that keep it real about failure but even louder about forgiveness. These songs hit hard with hope, reminding you that His grace always runs deeper.

Andy Mineo – “Working On It” 



Flame & NF – “Start Over”